Talk about the dirty thirty! I'm thirty pounds down today. The big 3- Oh!
So, in celebration of reaching this milestone, I'm contemplating opening up 15 packages of chicken breasts (about 2 pounds a package, right?) and slathering them all over my naked body (that's hawt, right?). If I'm to be true to reality, I'll have to reserve 2 of those packages just for my ass, one package per cheek (this baby's got back!).
That's the equivalent of what I've lost since November! Is that sick?
It's been an interesting ride to this milestone. Along the way I've made some fantastic friends here; I've injured my ankle; I've danced my chicken breasts off; and I've even helped a few people (three friends that know of) start this journey with Medifast for themselves.
I've giggled my way along, urging you all to laugh along with me. I'm convinced that laughing burns extra calories.
People are starting to notice. Dan's commented (look away, Mom! Look away!) that there's less to grab in the caboose. My boss this morning walked into my office and said, "Wow. You've really dropped a lot of weight". It's odd, because he sees me almost everyday, and yet....today he made a comment. Not that I'm complaining.
This weekend Dan and I unfortunately had a funeral to attend. Dan's childhood friend Adam lost his father last week. I've become really fond of Adam and his wife Gayle, and being that I'm pretty darned fond of Dan too, I wanted to go with him to the funeral in Connecticut. We sat shiva with them for a bit after the funeral. I've mentioned here before that shiva is kind of the Jewy version of a wake. It always involves tons of food, and sometimes drink (most often super sweet kosher wine). We had to travel a couple of hours to get to the funeral home, then another hour to the grave site, then an hour back to sit shiva with the family. That's a lot of sitting! But I did it all on plan.
Have Medifast bars, will travel, my friends.
So, I brought my bars. On the drive up I warned Dan that he might want to stop breathing once the Malitol firmly took residence in my intestines. Whatever. You want a hot girlfriend, right? This is the price your lungs and nose have to pay.
Gayle noticed my weight loss and commented, which was very sweet. As we stood in her home, with her family quietly talking in the living room, Dan made sure to point out to her that my ass had significantly deflated ( I'm not sure if he views this as a plus or more of a minus, to tell you the truth). She grabbed it just to confirm. Yes, this is how we grieve, ladies and gentleman.
A little while before that, Adam offered us a shot of whiskey in honor of his father. A few of his cousins were partaking. Dan declined, since he was driving (not to mention that whiskey tastes like....well...ass). I walked over to them, Adam's hand outstretched towards me holding a shot glass of amber liquid.
"Oh, no, thanks, I can't" I say thinking of all those little amber carbs.
Adam looks at me questioningly and says "Sure you can! Dan's driving!"
Dan, without missing a beat says, "No, it's an alcohol thing."
Although I don't know him all that long, I can already tell that Adam is an incredibly gracious and sensitive person. In response to Dan's comment, a sincere expression briefly passes over his face and he says quietly "Oh, I'm sorry".
Now Dan didn't realize what had just happened, but I totally did. Adam thought Dan was saying I was a recovering alcoholic! I was laughing to myself about this, wondering how far I could take this. I contemplated waiting till we saw Adam and Gayle again, and then drinking half a bottle of scotch to see if I could horrify Adam. I would have loved to see them with that "OH MY GOD SHE'S FALLEN OFF THE WAGON" look on their faces.
Of course, that would take me off plan, just for the goof. Kinda defeats the purpose. Drats! So having eliminated that from my list of options, I decided to tell Adam at some point that it wasn't what it seemed. And I did, as we walked to our car with him last night. Turns out he had barely thought about what Dan had said, but we all had a little chuckle about it, nonetheless. I wasn't at all upset by the entire thing. I saw the humor in it. I mean, I could have just jumped right up and said "No, no! I'm not an alcoholic! I'm just fat!"
It was late at that point, and I had yet to eat dinner. I ate my last bar in the car, and then we stopped at a diner where I got a chicken burger (no bun), spicy mayo and steamed veggies instead of fries. Exhausted, Dan and I finally got back to his apartment around 10:30 last night.
All in all the day focused me on what's truly important. Stick to your principles. Take care of your business. Don't worry about what other people think. Surround yourself with the people you love before they are gone. Laugh. Bring a gas mask for your boyfriend if you're eating Medifast bars for a long car ride up to Connecticut and back.
And stay on plan, even if it means you asphyxiate the ones you love.