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Shrinkinglawchick's blog
I'm Sleeping Alone Tonight....
Dinner tonight was 2 Morning Star Farms veggie burgers and some broccoli slaw that my mom taught me how to "make".  

The broccoli slaw is a double whammy, since I make it with practically half a bottle of garlic and onion powder, salt and pepper (Disclaimer: I make multiple servings, but I'm sure I go over on condiments on broccoli slaw days).  

So there's the vampire and boyfriend retardant properties of the garlic working for my breath on broccoli slaw night, and then there's the fact that broccoli anything, including slaw, probably ensures that I won't be producing any lovely aromas from my other end tonight either.  

The Broccoli slaw is delicious, by the way, but it's a foregone conclusion that I couldn't even pay anyone to sleep in the bed next to me, so I guess it's a good thing that Dan isn't over tonight. In fact, it's probably a good thing I won't see Dan for a few days, because I probably need a little broccoli slaw detox time! Oh, won't I just be the biggest hit at the office tomorrow?!

I'm starting to wonder if the dog will even sleep in the room with me tonight.  Do dogs like the smell of garlic and methane?  Judging by the dog's distance from my present location, I'd say.....nope.   

It's gonna be a long and lonely night.  Perhaps I should just say NO to broccoli slaw. 

Published Thursday, March 04, 2010 09:58 PM by Shrinkinglawchick
Filed Under: Random Thoughts, Humor
Seaotter said:
Poor Pickles.

Sounds like your broccoli slaw is contributing big time to global warming. Maybe you should start negotiating for carbon credits?
March 04, 2010 10:26 PM EST
brownneyzz said:
You crack me up, Sam. I was doing some research on gas tonight (trying to find natural ways to combat it, or find lowest gas veggies to eat)...let me warn you...DONT do research on gas. You'll find out stuff you dont want to know. Today my main lesson learned was if your poop floats, your body produces a lot of methane. eeewwwwww. Good new is, I was not really hungry after that one!

Take 2 beano and call us in the morning! :)
-AM
March 04, 2010 10:32 PM EST
wilcoxc said:
Sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite......WTH they probably won't get anywhere near you!! LMAO! You are so funny:)
March 04, 2010 10:37 PM EST
jenkko1 said:
I am glad that you like my broccoli slaw but was somewhat disconcerted when I noted that you blamed it for your conversational bottom. Could it be your bottom and not my slaw that is the culprit here?

Love,

Mom
March 04, 2010 10:46 PM EST
kittycat3 said:
Beano is right! I used to make mine with mayo and bacon!! Bet you don't! Poor Pickles! Depends how cold he gets I suppose!
March 04, 2010 10:46 PM EST
soopermommy said:
Hahaha... I like Mom :) Broccoli slaw sounds perfect to me.. pass the recipe on sweetheart!!
March 04, 2010 11:03 PM EST
JWorblv said:
OK - what is the recipe - my husband is out of town next week on business - maybe I will try it! Funny lady - your poor dog! :)
March 04, 2010 11:05 PM EST
lb315 said:
I want the recipe too -- great way to get rid of the hubby when I want to -- lol!
March 05, 2010 12:04 AM EST
hnrdarlene said:
Wow, I am still laughing over your blog!!
Thanks for the laughter and please forward me the recipe.
March 05, 2010 12:14 AM EST
ChubbyBubby said:
Just don't make a double portion and eat it two days in a row... You'll be blasting off!
March 05, 2010 07:11 AM EST
Shrinkinglawchick said:
Ok, Mom's Broccoli Slaw:

1 package of Broccoli Slaw (get the one with the least bits of carrots)
2 tsp of olive oil
2 tsp of vinegar
garlic powder to taste
salt to taste
onion powder to taste
lots of pepper to taste ( i like mine spicy)
March 05, 2010 08:06 AM EST
MT_Cup said:
If you use garlic infused olive oil, you eliminate 1 condiment and keep it more OP. ;)

I have a large dog so keeping him out of the bed means more leg room and better sleep for me. I think I'll try this slaw. :P
March 05, 2010 10:05 AM EST
jackiemac79 said:
Love this recipe and blog! I want to try it because it sounds yummy despite the gaseousness. :D (For the most part I never have gas on MF anyway unless it's been a super heavy day on gassy veggies.)
March 05, 2010 10:10 AM EST
Pennosh said:
Sam, the last time I had broccoli slaw, my cat tried to bury me!
March 05, 2010 01:45 PM EST
jsc983 said:
I love you! Thank you for making me feel a little more normal. The gas makes Chris (my boyfriend) miserable. I'm sure he'll like to see me skinnier though! I think I might add that broccoli slaw to my arsenal.....it sounds great!
March 05, 2010 10:45 PM EST
mipsen said:
dogs don't find a few farts...they will love you no matter what.
March 06, 2010 02:02 AM EST
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