You Know It's a Good Day When......
You haul your sorry ass home from a grueling day at work fighting lawyers who bring a new meaning to the word jackass, and there waiting for you on your porch are two....count them....two....boxes from fedex....one with your recent order of Medifast, and the other with a pair of shoes!!!
And these are no ordinary shoes. *** GIRLIE ALERT *** These. Were. Wedding. Shoes!
I was disappointed yesterday when the badgley Mischka shoes I'd ordered in blue turned out to be torture devices. But today the alternate pair of $50 "Touch Ups" arrived, and lo and behold they are comfy and they look pretty! Squeeeee!
By lawchick at 2010-07-29
By lawchick at 2010-07-29
Ok, that's enough of that. Now, back to the Medifast. I opened my box and gleefully organized. I ordered three ice creams, because they seemed so scrumdidlyumptious. And so, after my Morningstar Farms burgers with Frank's hot sauce and stringbeans, I sauntered back into the kitchen to make momma some peanut butter soft serve.
Mother of all creatures big and small!! That can't seriously be on plan. Can it? It's amazing! Would I be a freak if I had that for all 5 meals, every day of the week? Well, more freakish than I already am not doing that?
So I'm hoping this new ice cream helps me really kick the carb monster and stay on plan. It's really been a tough go of it, and staying on plan has been hard. I really would like to at least be close to goal by the time the wedding swings around in October, and so I really need to persevere and do this.
Now, a word about off plan eating. Some people never go off plan. Some find it harder than others to stick to plan all the time. Frankly, I wish I had the strength to always be OP and never slip up. But I have had moments of weakness. I know I'd be losing faster if I hadn't had them. But I'd never be dishonest and pretend I wasn't having a rough time. I forgive myself for the weaknesses, the moments of crazed stress eating, or the days of careless vacation eating. That's not to say I condone them, or recommend that anyone eat off plan. I don't. But I also I don't think that beating oneself up after the fact is very productive.
I have learned through this process, above all, to love myself. Being a better person has to start with loving who you are, right there in the moment. If that means loving yourself fat, or loving yourself in the middle of a divorce, of loving yourself in the middle of a mess you made at work, whatever it is, if you don't love you, you'll never get through.
For me that translates into picking myself up, and dusting myself off when there's a slip up. It's never "I totally screwed up! I'm such a jerk!" That kind of thinking is just waste of my energy.
As a friend pointed out to me today, there are people here who feel ashamed and down because they are struggling and have had moments of weakness with off plan eating. Some of those people might need a kick in the pants, but some of them just need a hug. Some of them just need to be told that even though it's hard, and even though there are moments of weakness when you have gone off plan, there are people here struggling with you, and those people are not giving up.
So I'm not giving up. I ain't perfect. But I'm also not a failure. I've lost almost 50 pounds, and I can lose the rest. Now how about a group hug?