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I started this program in November of 2009, and by July of 2010 I'd lost 44 pounds. I got married in October, 2010 and gained 22 pounds! Then? I spent the last year or so doing fertility treatments, with a strict prohibition on dieting. The result? Well, the fat did not retract. I'm bigger than ever, and back on plan.
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Shrinkinglawchick's Silly blog
Realizations
They say the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.  If we're going by that definition, I must be stupid.

I'm continually amazed how this plan works, all around, when I just stick to it 100%.   Here are some of my more mentally challenged realizations; having been on this plan since November, you'd think this would all have sunk in sooner.  But I really do sometimes let them slip quietly from my brain.....and then BLAM! I remember.  


1.  Yes, it really makes a difference if you chug water like a mofo (and, incidentally, pee like a racehorse).  If I drink my water, I drop weight. If I don't drink my water.....well.....who knows. Maybe I'll drop and maybe I won't.  

2. Drinking my water actually is keeping me from wanting to eat my face off.  I always poopooed this sage advice from dieters. Being a long time dieter, having heard this mantra at weight watchers and Nutrisystem, I just said "yeah, yeah, I know, I know" but I haven't always embraced it.  The truth is, if I'm guzzling water there's no friggin' space for food in my tummy and there's no friggin' time to pack it in my mouth because I'm too busy running down the hall to go make a deposit every 20 minutes or so. My conclusion? Don't eat your face off. Drink (water) your face off. If you must, you can flavor it with those sugar free powders (I do). 

3. Food is fuel. Seriously. I knew this months ago. Yet it continually astounds me when I forget.  If I don't space my meals right, I'm hungry, weak, and shaky and I'm cruising the kitchen for a snack that might not be OP.  And that's even AFTER I've finally had my MF meal, or my dinner.  It's like my little pea brain is still in OMFG I'M STARVING mode, and it's screaming "EAT SOMETHING, WOMAN! WE'RE DYING OVER HERE".  I guess it takes some time for my stomach to communicate up to the old brain that it's been filled with good stuff.  But that teaches me that I need to be more regimented, and I need to make sure I'm eating on time, or I run the risk of pigging out.....even when I'm no longer hungry.  And when I have that "I want to stick my head in a vat of doritos and never come out" feeling, I just repeat my other mantra. "Food is fuel" a few times......and the Doritos beast is at bay.  For now. 

4.  Medifarts are awesome.  Now if you're say, my son, or the dog, you may not agree with this statement, particularly because the latter is always getting blamed for the pungent aromas that sometimes whittle their way into my house. But if you're me?  They're a weapon when used accordingly.  You know, like when your kid won't go to bed. If only I could harness the power a little more..... consistently, we'd be all set. And no, I'd never use my power for good.  Evil's the only way to go with that one. Oh, and if you take the digestive health pills, chances are this will be the kryptonite to your Medifarts. You might want to rethink the digestive health pills. I'm just sayin'. 

Oh, so many realizations. If only I had the time to keep going.  But I'm off to work. Then to the city to look for rings if work ends in time. Then to a quiet night of no dog, and no kid with Dan. And then back on Wednesday to life as normal.  Crazy, hectic.....






Published Tuesday, August 10, 2010 06:41 AM by Shrinkinglawchick
Filed Under: General Medifast Comment, Something I Have Learned, Humor
op360 said:
Love your realizations. I can relate to all of them. As for the Medifarts.....I am guilty also. I like to sneak up on people(family) and get them when they are not expecting it! So funny!
August 10, 2010 07:05 AM EST
potterylady said:
oh my! Love your post, must go read more of them.
Medifarts! gotta add that to the official glossary!
August 10, 2010 07:24 AM EST
KMart1963 said:
Thanks for the morning laugh and the reaffirmations ...and you are right, Medifarts ARE awesome! :-D
August 10, 2010 08:03 AM EST
bresbres said:
Lucky me, my kid farts worse than Medifarts and HE blames the dog! If only I could keep him around all day but alas he heads to school in September! Keep smiling and keep that sense of humor...and yes do drink the water - it just washes the fat (and the fart) out of our bodies just like our moms used to wash the gray right outta their hair!
Have a great day hon!
:)
August 10, 2010 08:13 AM EST
kittycat3 said:
Glad you came up for air! No pun intended! Stay the course...October will be here before you know it!
August 10, 2010 02:13 PM EST
HealthyMe_76 said:
HAHAHA, I loved your blog! So insightful, true and funny! :)
August 10, 2010 09:08 PM EST
mipsen said:
have you ever had a REALLY good fart and stepped on the scale? i swear you will be lighter!!!! lol!!!
August 10, 2010 11:56 PM EST
jinpa said:
A real conversation with my dad once after he farted:

me: Dad!!! Ugh!!!
dad: What???
me: You farted!
dad: It was the dog.
me: It was not the dog, it was you!
dad: No it wasn't. Mine smell good.
August 12, 2010 07:44 AM EST
LanternLady said:
Loved your blog...great job of laying it all out there, especially with the farts! At least that way you know your system is working, right! Keep up the great work!
August 12, 2010 09:28 AM EST
CallOfDutyMW2 said:
My, I hate to be in the awkward position of correcting ShrinkingLawChick on anything, butttt "doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result" is not the definition of stupid. It's the definition of crazy I believe. So clearly you're not stupid. You're just crazy. ; )
August 12, 2010 11:41 AM EST
andi12589 said:
love your blog... tell it like it is!
August 12, 2010 11:30 PM EST
roadwarrior said:
Actually that would be the definition of INSANITY,which also fals into the catogory of staying in the same room after megametafarting.
Dang I do belive I like that word.
August 15, 2010 02:11 AM EST
Grrrracie said:
Whew! You hit the nail on the head. We could rob a bank with our medifarts! Do the digestive pills really help? I mean, can you or anyone else vouch first-hand about them? If so, I'll buy a case. I've just finished 3 weeks on the plan and was hoping this was just an adjustment period. But to hear you and others who have been on it for a lot longer and still have all that gascious action going on.... well, that's a bit discouraging. I've been eating Gas-X tablets like jujubes - I worry about going to the theater, etc. I mean, what if one sneaks out??? What a nightmare! This is the one part of MF that I don't think is right. A healthy body eliminates properly and when you do have some wind, it shouldn't smell so freaking putrid.

On another note, love your blog and thanks for all your great "realizations." Sorry for being so blunt....
August 17, 2010 06:16 PM EST
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