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I started this program in November of 2009, and by July of 2010 I'd lost 44 pounds. I got married in October, 2010 and gained 22 pounds! Then? I spent the last year or so doing fertility treatments, with a strict prohibition on dieting. The result? Well, the fat did not retract. I'm bigger than ever, and back on plan.
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Shrinkinglawchick's Silly blog
New Appetite Suppressant Discovery!
But it's only for masochists. Try going to the dentist to get one of your molars drilled and filled and see if you want to eat a darn thing.  And forget wanting to eat. How about being able to eat? For some odd reason I can't open my mouth wider than a sliver.  It hurts to talk so I'm not doing much talking tonight (good news for some folks). 

I've had 3 Medifast meals today, and I managed to get my L& G in while I was still numb and lovin' life. But as soon as that novocaine wore off? Hello pain! 

It's been eons since I had a cavity, so I'd forgotten what it was like to have dental work done.  Who knew it was also a great diet aid?! Sheeeeeit, if I'd have known that, I'd have a tooth drilled once a week for the last 7 months (do I even have enough teeth to do that?).  

In case the dentist's efforts at appetite suppressing fail there's always Plan B, which is to simply think of all the things I have left to do for this wedding, and how much time I don't have to do it in. Let's engage in a bit of wedding plan appetite suppression right here, shall we? I still have to:

  1. find a veil, which I'm told I can't do online
  2. find or have a corset made to wrangle the girls into place under my strapless dress
  3. buy some spanx, because I'm told I have to wrangle my thighs as much as my boobs
  4. write my wedding vows
  5. find a hair stylist
  6. get my son's pants hemmed
  7. register
  8. find a ketubah (jewish wedding contract) and order it in time 
  9. address invitations
  10. mail invitations
  11. straighten out the florist
  12. get quotes for liquor and portopotty rental (yeah, I'm a classy broad, we're gonna have port o potty's at our wedding....)
  13. pick a wedding band and order it
I'm sure there's more.......that seamstress is gonna have to take that dress down to a size....what? six? A girl can dream, right? 



Published Wednesday, August 18, 2010 09:35 PM by Shrinkinglawchick
Filed Under: Random Thoughts, Humor
Kaphrodite said:
Hmmmm--chicken and broccoli smoothie? Ick. Nevermind. Hope that your mouth is feeling better soon. And who says it's not classy to have port-a-potties? Who made that rule? ;)
~Kim~
August 18, 2010 10:28 PM EST
s_ashford said:
I don't have anything profound to say, but I am totally stuck on the porta-potties. I remember hearing something about it with Chelsea Clinton's wedding, but appearently they have these luxury ones. So of course I googled it, and found sites like 'scottiespotties' and 'prettypotties'.... now I think I need one. I know I have told you about how John just destroys his bathroom. Maybe if I got a luxury out house, I could just have them tow it away once a week.

-Ashford
August 18, 2010 10:29 PM EST
s_ashford said:
Oh... and I can totally relate to the dental pain. I had a bridge with pins in it, then got kicked in the face and broke the pins out of my jaw. Those couple of years while I was getting surgery after surgery were some of my thinnest years, lol.

-Ashford
August 18, 2010 10:31 PM EST
mlb2122 said:
Wedding plans.....first off that bustier that you are needing for the girls...I had to get one for my son's wedding and let me tell you that you can wrangle those girls into the damn thing to the point where they almost spill out over the top! LOL! Let me tell you that my husband was keeping an eye on the girls for me during most of the day!! You can buy a nice bustier at any bridal shop.....one stop did it for me. They are very uncomfortable but it's the price we have to pay to look good!!

How about sweet talking someone "near and dear" to you (or someone you secretly don't like!) into addressing and mailing the invititations for you!

When is the wedding date? We all expect to see photos!! Marsha
August 18, 2010 11:45 PM EST
mipsen said:
check craigslist for that under the dress stuff/veil. i would personally skip the spanx..you want to be somewhat comfy, right?! the corset is worth it since you don't want pictures of saggy "girls", lol! sorry about your mouth..great day to do all shakes! yippee f'ing skippee!! xoxo, m
August 19, 2010 12:15 AM EST
kittycat3 said:
Ouch! I"m sorry about your mouth! At least now instead of emergency 3 days before wedding! And delegate, delegate...some else to address and mail, hem pants, get quotes etc! Good luck!
August 19, 2010 12:40 AM EST
HappySWK said:
Ok Sam..no more dental work until after the wedding...do you really need to add anymore stress in your life right now? :) I'm sure all your plans will come together...enjoy the process...
Lisa :)
August 19, 2010 08:14 AM EST
legalbeagle said:
1) You can SO find a veil online. I did it.

2) spanx + corset = superskinny in the photos. Though it's kind of like opening one of those pilsbury dough packages when you take it all off at the end of the night ;-)

3) congrats!!!
August 24, 2010 03:47 PM EST
MT_Cup said:
If it's any help, this is where I get my corsets. http://www.corsetconnection.com They're not vanity corsets, they're lock and load; the real deal.
August 28, 2010 07:53 AM EST
hnjdad7 said:
Port-a-potties! My family would think I was being stuck up if we didn't have at least one at every major family function. Seriously.

Praying you have a wonderful wedding and a blessed Marriage....will the cake be a zombie theme? lol. Your proposal story has made me laugh so much. I watched Zombieland and thought of you and the future Mr. Shrinkinglawchick the whole time and thought, "How cool that they have a unique story like that!"

Blessings to you,

Jeremy
August 30, 2010 04:35 PM EST
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