Once a year, my hubby and son take a mountain bike trip for a few days. It is Dad and Son time, and also some alone time for me. Well, this is that week. I can't even describe how different it is this year, compared to the last few years. The last few years, this time has always been about food for me. Cake for dinner? Yep! My own pizza? Bring it on! That delicious fried Long John Silvers chicken? Heck yes! But this year is completely different. It involves 5 Medifast meals, and one Lean and Green. Can I be honest? Although I feel SO much better then I have in years, I kind of miss it. My life revolves (revolved?) so much around food, I have to figure a way to change it. I can't expect it to be changed in the couple of months I've been on this plan. I've been living my life around and about food for years and years. It's going to take time. I just need to be patient and work hard!

Last July, my Dr told me I needed gastric bypass. I was horrified and heartbroken. My being overweight was not a surprise to me, but no one had ever said that. I went home and cried for a week, then reluctantly applied for the bypass surgery. I was accepted and was sent a letter saying I was on a 6 month to a year waiting list. So for a few months, I sat around, ate, and felt sorry for myself. I decided that I needed to try everything before I resort to surgery. This is when I found Medifast and decided it was the program for me. I started on Jan. 23rd, and have now lost close to 30 lbs. Guess what came in the mail yesterday? A letter from my Dr saying that they were now ready to help me continue my weight loss journey. Wow. I had almost forgotten about that. I was in such a different place at that point in my life. I was desperate, sad, scared and felt overwhelmingly hopeless. I am not that person today. Today I have a hope and a knowledge that I can do this! I can get my life back and I can join the world again! What a wonderful feeling. Thank you, my Medifast friends. You help me every day!

Sometimes it's hard to explain the MF plan to people. I know they mean well, but the questions make me laugh sometimes. The question I get a lot is (cue horrified look), "What??? No fruit?? Only certain amounts of vegetables?? That can't be right! That's not healthy!" Look, I'm over a 100 lbs overweight. I'm pretty sure I haven't been loading up on fruits and veggies to get this way. I'm also pretty sure my body is going to be okay for awhile without fruit, since it hasn't exactly be a staple in my diet for years! Since I started this program over a month ago, I think this is the healthiest I've been in years!

Tonight I realized that I don't know how to take a compliment anymore. I had dinner with a wonderful friend who knows my weight struggles and how I've been doing on this plan. I've been on the plan for about a month, and have lost about 22 lbs. As soon as I saw her, she told me I looked great and could tell I had lost. She complimented me a few times throughout the night. I thanked her, but it felt strange. My mind immediately went to the feeling of, "Oh, she's just being nice." and, "I'm sure it's not noticeable".  I almost felt a little embarrassed and felt like I should add the old, "Yes, but I still have so much to lose". I don't know if it's because it's been a very long time since I've been complemented on my looks, so I'm not sure if I believe it myself. I've failed on SO many diets, but this time I think I have a good chance of success. I'm not sure if I know how that feels! I can't wait to learn!

Ok, I'm beginning to think I might be addicted to Medifast! Not the food, but Medifast in general. I seem to be thinking about it, reading the blogs, on the FB page, wanting to talk about it, all the time!! Now, I know I have an addictive personality. I wouldn't have gotten to almost 300 pounds without having an addiction to food. I had to put the scale away because I find myself addicted to weighing. At least Medifast is a healthy addiction. I think it will get better as time goes on, when it's not so new to me. But I want you all to know that you have been a great support to me! It's good to know there are people out there in the same boat I am. When you are this overweight, it is kind of lonely. It seems like (and sometimes is) you are the only one in your position, and most people don't understand. Thank you, my Medifast friends.

I've found myself slipping into a bad habit of mine. I am addicted to the scale. My first week I did great and only weighed myself twice. Now for some reason, I've gotten on it every day. To make matters worse, because it's my time of the month, I'm not losing at all. I find myself feeling that depressed feeling again when I don't lose. It is amazing to me that I can lose 12.4lbs the first week, which is incredible, and still feel bad when I don't lose. My brain tells me, "Ummmm, hello???? You lost 12 lbs! You can't expect that every week!", but my heart doesn't agree.

This is what I know. I know I need to put the scale away. I know this plan works. I know I already am feeling better. And, I know I can do this. Time to stop feeling sorry for myself, hide that scale, and keep on moving! I've got this!

"Happy New Year! The world is waiting for you!"

     These were the words that greeted me on my Facebook page on Jan. 1st, 2012. These were also the words that changed my life. That post hit me like a ton of bricks. He was right. The world is waiting for me. So was my husband, son, friends, etc. But most of all, I've been waiting for ME to get off the couch and take my life back.

      I've been overweight most of my life. But this is the worst I have ever let myself get. I can barely walk because the arthritis in my knees hurts so bad. I have pain with every step I take. I try to pretend to others that it's not as bad as it is...I'm not sure why. I know they all know.

     My weight loss journey really began back in July of 2011. I went to the Dr. for a regular visit, and one of  the very first things she said was that I needed to lose weight. It kind of made me mad because she certainly wasn't telling me something I didn't know! She immediately recommended that I have gastric bypass. I immediately started crying. I went home and cried on and off for about a week. Something about having surgery doesn't feel right to me. I know it's worked wonders for others, but something in my gut was saying no. I reluctantly applied for the surgery and was accepted at the end of August. The thing that hit me was that it was going to be at least 6 months to a year before they even contacted me again. So I continued with my lifestyle (or lack of lifestyle) until I read those words that Phil Keoghan wrote on New Years Day.

    Knowing that I didn't want surgery, I decided it was time to research every option. I looked at Weight Watcher (again!), Optifast, Slim4Life, Jenny Craig, and everything in between. Then I ran across an add for Medifast. It grabbed me almost immediately, and I knew it was the plan for me. I researched it, did some more research, and decided to try it! I orderded my first month of food and the rest is history

     I am a very lucky person. I have a husband that loves me no matter what, a son that loves me that very same way, and a very supportive group of friends. This time feels different. This time I'm going to do it. It's time to take my life back!